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About Deviant Member MeggyFemale/United States Recent Activity
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whom thunder hath made greater by Conundra
whom thunder hath made greater
The mind is its own place, and in itself
can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n.
What matter where, if I be still the same
and what I should be, all but less than he
whom thunder hath made greater

- John Milton, Paradise Lost, Book 1

That famous soliloquy, when the first among the fallen addresses the burning plain, is a speech of tremendous power.
But there is a flaw hidden among those words.
I didn't see it when I first walked into my Milton, Blake, and the Bible lecture, twenty-one years old and high as a kite on knowledge, but the man who taught it is brilliant and gentle and wise.
And he had a gift for opening our eyes.

The strength in those words is admirable, to be sure, but it is rigid. When an individual moves through the world without adapting, without evolving with the passage of time and the knowledge and experience offered by life's lessons and obstacles, then their circumstances don't matter. They are static, doomed to live out the same patterns and repeat the same cycles over and over and over; inflexible, and ultimately brittle, like steel that snaps in the cold.

It is not thunder, with its rumbling, ominous threat, that makes those who can adapt greater.
It is simply our ability to learn, to grow, to let go and create anew.

This photo was taken a year and a half after I graduated from college, during a brief period of symptom-free calm in the middle of a battle that's spanned half a decade, and will last as long as I live.
And as long as I live, I will continue to make the most of the time I have, and rebuild my dreams as many times as is necessary.

Taken by Alan-H-Bruce
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The Captain's Verses - La Reina by Conundra
The Captain's Verses - La Reina
"I have named you queen.
There are taller ones than you, taller.
There are purer ones than you, purer.
There are lovelier than you, lovelier.

But you are the queen.

When you go through the streets
no one recognizes you.
No one sees your crystal crown, no one looks
at the carpet of red gold
that you tread as you pass,
the nonexistent carpet.

And when you appear
all the rivers sound
in my body, bells
shake the sky,
and a hymn fills the world.

Only you and I,
only you and I, my love,
listen to it."


While I was looking through my archive a few days ago, I realized I hadn't saved any of the black-and-white images from this shoot.
Alan-H-Bruce came to the rescue, and sent me the new link to this shoot's gallery.

This image was taken at the end of the shoot, and an hour of posing on rocks and rough tree bark had taken its toll on my very, very fair skin. The large red mark on my hip led me to pass over this photo the first few times I saw it, but three years later, I stopped to take another look.
BH was kind enough to convert it for me
and the second I saw it, I knew.

One of the many lessons that unfolds as the years pass, and one of my favorites, is this: perceptions change with the passage of time. You can look at a photo, watch a movie, meet a person over and over and over again, and discover something new with each encounter.
Stories sit half-finished in desk drawers for years, until the ending comes to you.
And, in my case, you can know someone for half your life without realizing that the ingredients for love are there, lying dormant until the moment is right.
It just takes time.
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Garrus the Great (Dane) by Conundra
Garrus the Great (Dane)
My high school best friend and her husband bred their Great Danes this year.
I've always wanted a dog, but Danes weren't ever on my wish-list until this beautiful fellow was deposited into my arms. He was three weeks old and only six pounds, and he tucked himself under my chin without so much as a by-your-leave.

I was completely smitten.

My doctor and I had been talking about the possibility of a service dog to assist me with balance and mobility. Because of my height, there are only four or five breeds that are suited to that purpose (at least 30.5" at the shoulder), and by a wonderful coincidence, Great Danes happened to be one of them.

In honor of a favorite Mass Effect character, I named him Garrus. He's five months old, now, and a little over 90 lbs. He's very tall, very sweet, very affectionate, far smarter than his breed is supposed to be, and thoroughly convinced that he's a lapdog.

In a word, he's wonderful.
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like a fountain from a pool by Conundra
like a fountain from a pool
Now, the things that I remember seem
so distant and so small,
though it hasn't really been that long a time.
What I was seeing wasn't what was happening at all,
although for a while, our path did seem to climb.
When you see through love's illusions,
there lies the danger;
and your perfect lover just looks like a perfect fool.
So you go running off in search of a perfect stranger
while the loneliness seems to spring from your life
like a fountain from a pool

- Jackson Browne, "Fountain of Sorrow"

The work of artists like PerryGallagher is precious beyond words
but you have to be ready to see not only the reality of your physical form
but the thoughts and feelings that live behind your eyes.

Taken in November 2011
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but I have promises to keep by Conundra
but I have promises to keep
the woods are lovely;
dark and deep,
but I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep; 
and miles to go before I sleep.


taken by Alan-H-Bruce, November 2011


I'm in the middle of my fourth round of IV antibiotics in three years.  
I've been in treatment since April, and still have a long way to go.
I haven't left Alaska since I returned to my hometown in 2012.  
That's a long, long time for a person born with the heart of an explorer and very, very restless feet.  

One of the things that brings me solace is the amount of life I managed to pack into the time I was given before my illness became too serious for me to stay in California. 
I modeled intermittently from 2007-2012, and I have enough material in my archive portfolio to post a different photo every day for at least 2-3 years. 

I'm a little thinner, a little older, and a little more tired around the eyes, with a few more scars for good measure, but I still see this woman in the mirror every morning. 
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deviantID

Conundra
Meggy
United States
"Here's a sigh to those who love me
and a smile to those who hate
and, whatever sky's above me
here's a heart for every fate"

My name is Megan, but I only ever hear it in formal situations or when I'm in trouble. I'm Meggy to most, Meg to some, and Meggles or Meggiweg to a very brave few.

I'm a tattooed bookworm, a collector of memories, a penny-picker-upper, an aspiring scientist, an incorrigible goof, an adventurer, a wanderer, a tea addict, and a dreamer. Mine is a life lived for joy and adventures, tempered with enough reason and foresight to keep me from getting into too much trouble.
I love with all my heart, laugh with all the breath in my body, and explore the world with the curiosity and energy of a five-year-old. Life is simply too short to live any other way.

I've been modeling off-and-on for nearly half a decade.
I'm not a fan of photoshopped illusions and artificial beauty.

In a world obsessed with perfection, I'm a flesh-and-blood creature made of asymmetries and quirks and oddities and flaws.

I make no apologies for it
I hide none of it
and what you see here is what you get.

I love what I do. I hope you will, too.

Current Residence: Southeast Alaska
Favourite genre of music: classic rock, blues, rock, metal, soul, industrial, all things bad 80s + 90s
Skin of choice: someone else's
Personal Quote: "and whatever sky's above me, here's a heart for every fate"
Interests
"Don't let someone steal your tenderness.
Don't allow the coldness and fear of others to tarnish your perfectly vulnerable beating heart.
Nothing is more powerful than allowing yourself to be affected by things.  Whether it's a song,
a stranger, a mountain, a rain drop, a tea kettle, an article, a sentence, a footstep, feel it all -
look around you.  All of this is for you.  
Take it and have gratitude.
Give it and feel love."
- Zooey Deschanel


Beautiful words from a beautiful heart.
  • Mood: Peaceful
  • Watching: Top Gear, series 16
  • Eating: a honeycrisp apple + a handful of cherries

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:iconxraynovember5:
XrayNovember5 Featured By Owner 2 days ago  New member Hobbyist General Artist
beautiful gallery
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:iconlexxii:
lexxii Featured By Owner 6 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Great Gallery Meggy:) Hope all is well with you

Invite to join :iconcutieshots: A Diverse Growing Global Super Group Featuring Over 100+Galleries & dedicated to artists of all genres to display their fine art to here:) Please join soon:) xoxolexxiiCutieShots
**Submitted: "Promises To Keep" For Your Approval
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:iconpolkaninja:
PolkaNinja Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2014
You're beautiful. And I love your ink work.
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:iconmichaelcphotography:
MichaelCPhotography Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2014   Photographer
Love your profile Meg!  While I don't have the time to comment on all your images, suffice to say, they're all great!  I don't know you, but I love you as a person, and I think you have a body to match your beautiful soul!  Keep up the great work!  Michael
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:icontheory6-brian:
theory6-brian Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Your work and story is inspiring, keep it up! +watch :)
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:icongay-and-geeky:
Gay-And-Geeky Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014
You once paid me an awesome compliment, you mentioned something that you liked my self-photography for taking chances as a not so skinny guy. It meant a lot when you have the compliment. 
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:iconmakiyura:
Makiyura Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014
Happy Birthday! :heart:
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:icontocaimacomics:
tocaimacomics Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014   Interface Designer
happy birthday
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:icontonepainter:
tonepainter Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, sorry it's been so long. I hope you're having an absolutely wonderful birthday! :D
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:iconphydeau:
phydeau Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
Happy birthday! :cake: :party: :boogie:
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